People & Places
Coping with homesickness
Holly Dicker looks at steps you can take to keep homesickness at bay
Prevention is the best mode of attack for homesickness and heeding the following practical tips could stop the missing home transform into mourning:
Preparation
As literary giant, Miguel De Cervantes once wrote: "To be prepared is half the victory." Properly planning your move abroad will reduce feelings of anxiety on arrival. Gathering as much information about your new environment beforehand will make the place seem less foreign and easier to navigate, helping you to acclimatise much faster.
Integration
Introduce yourself to the neighbours, volunteer for community projects or become involved in your children's school. The sooner you have made a new support network, the less reliant you will become on your old one – though be careful not to make comparisons or find replacements for old companions. This can be a difficult and uncomfortable process, but a necessary one none the less, as Morag Aitken discovered. "I certainly felt it was important to 'fast track' potential friendships. With only two years, there didn't seem too much time to spare for preliminaries. I am very outgoing and generally make friends quite easily, but at 45 years of age, I didn't realise until I was out of my comfort zone, that I had stopped that active search for friendships. I knew all the right moves, but they were a bit harder at 45!"
Occupation
"The biggest enemy in this situation is boredom," says Rob Hadley, psychologist and British ex-pat in Canada. Keeping busy will help distract you from feeling homesick, whilst helping you to familiarise yourself with your new environment. By joining a gym, or local social groups you will also be putting yourself in a position to meet people and make friends.
Comfort
Homesickness is a reaction against the loss of the familiar, a yearning for the security we associate with places, family and friends left behind. It is important to achieve comfort without simply replicating old ways of life. Reassuring ties to the past should be used as a springboard to create a new sense of wellbeing independent from former roots. Keep regular but limited contact with loved ones, sharing positive experiences of your new life without dwelling on the old. "Letter writing is an excellent way to cope. It's not real-time contact, so emotions tend not to escalate," comments Dr Chris Thurber, clinical psychologist specialising in homesickness. "While waiting for a return letter, the homesick person is learning more and more about effective coping strategies."
Creating a safe and inviting home environment is also important. People often find they feel much more settled once they have moved into their own home and surrounded themselves with their possessions. Having a routine is another form of security.
Health
"Improving physical energy habits, including sleep, diet, and exercise, is often the first line of attack against the most common mental health concerns of anxiety and depression," says Licensed Mental Health Counsellor, Brooke Randolph. The brain is an organ acutely sensitive to what we eat and drink. To remain healthy it needs a balanced mix of nutrients, which we derive from our food. Imbalances in these nutrients result in an imbalance in our mood. A high fish intake has been linked with low levels of depression, as well as folic acid, zinc and vitamins B1, B2 and C, whilst exercise releases endorphins – a chemical that helps us to relax and feel happy. Exercise is particularly important for sufferers of depression as it also gives structure and purpose to the day.
Perspective
Remember your reasons for leaving the UK. "Ultimately dreams of home are often better than the reality of home," says psychologist Rob Hadley. "We forget the gritty details of why we chose to leave, when we are succumbing to the melancholy feelings of missing friends who seem far removed." Don't think about the distance between your new and old life, consider your new environment simply as a different town. Emigration is not just about changing countries, it's about reinvention. Instead of focusing on what one has lost, remind yourself of all the exciting and unique opportunities you have gained.
Perseverance
Remember it will take time to adjust and even those who quickly take to their new lives abroad may succumb to doubt or spells of homesickness. But by remaining positive and immersed in your new environment, the more it will start to become "home".