Homes & Relocation Detail
Relocating the kids!
Amidst everything else there is to think about when emigrating, dont underestimate the demands of travelling with young children warns Paul Beasley
Are we there yet', I used to say to my parents from the back seat of the car on the drive down to our annual Cornish summer holiday, even if the trip had barely reached the end of the road we lived on. If my sister had beat me to it, we'd be at least three roads from our front door before I piped up with those same four immortal words. We'd say it so often during the journey that we'd lose count and our poor parents would nearly lose their sanity.
No doubt everyone has a similar story to tell, and no doubt you were no more blameworthy than we were. Kids will be kids, after all, and when you're knee high to a grasshopper the concept of how long it takes to travel a mile means about as much as the idea of working for a living ("Mum, where does Dad go all day?"). But we were only going 200 of these mystical miles at most, and when the car stopped it meant we'd arrived, unless we'd been caught up yet again in one of those endless sweltering tailbacks over the bridge near Saltash.
For emigrants, on the other hand, it's when that UK car journey stops that things really take off quite literally. Or at least, you wish it would, but you have to wait in limbo for several agonising airport hours before your emigration finally gets airborne. And when a child's mood can go from sweetness and light to darkness and blight and back again in the blink of an eye, a UK-to-Australia journey that might easily total 30 hours door-to-door could witness more mood swings than a hormonal teenagers' convention. Even better news is that you'll be there every step of the way, pacifying and playing with your young charges before the frightening-looking woman with the nervous twitch in the row behind you goes on the warpath.
But perhaps the prospect of flying one or more bundles of mischief 12,000 miles to Australia doesn't ruffle your feathers at all. Indeed, you might think: I've gone on long-haul holidays with the kids many-a-time. No problem. Yet this is different: it's for keeps, and there's the excess baggage sitting in the hold of the aircraft to remind you of this fact. Emigrating is challenging enough, but fail to provide for your kids' mid-air entertainment and unruly behaviour could be just one more challenge to add to the long list waiting for you on arrival in Australia. And those that have already survived the ordeal aren't exactly offering crumbs of comfort. "Rather you than me, ha!" says Dave Montoya worryingly, who flew to New South Wales with his wife Lin and four children aged 19 months, 5, 9 and 11 years in September last year.
So what can you do to smooth your flight of infancy?
Cleared for take-off
As everyone who's ever been on more than one airline will know, now all airlines are created equal! There are plenty to choose from, of course, but booking some of them could fly in the face of reason, especially when you factor in leg room, stopovers and luggage allowance. "We looked at all of the airlines, to be honest," says Dave, "and wanted one that would cater for children but at the same time be of reasonable cost. "We settled on Malaysian airlines. It was a close call between these and Singapore. Malaysian, however, had an extra two inches of leg room, which was good for a 6-foot bloke like me, and was slightly better priced."
Another tie-breaker could be the route the airline flies and the opportunity for the family to stretch its collective legs during a stopover. The Coles, parents Mike and Alex, and their three children, aged 13, 8 and 3, flew out to a new life in New Zealand in 2004, and have since taken several return flights to NZ. From experience, Mike now feels that stopovers can be a sensible option. "On our trip back home to NZ last year we organised to stop for three nights in Singapore and then had five nights in LA. I'd now say that, if you can make the time, it is very worthwhile breaking the journey and having a few days somewhere you would not normally get the opportunity to go." Refreshed and topped up with new experiences, kids are less likely to find the onward journey so taxing. Mike also has the following advice: "If you have infants make sure that when you book your flight you check with the airline the weight limit on the bulkhead cribs and, if your child is not too heavy, request your seat and the crib as early as possible".
You might even want to consider booking an extra seat for the family. "We paid for six seats even though Matthew, our youngest at 19 months, would also have the cot," says Dave. "The reason for this is that the first time we flew to Australia we thought 'no, we'll save money and the small one sits on our lap', but that was a big mistake. There was no room, Matthew did not sit still and it was a nightmare. So the second time, when we were actually emigrating, we all had seats at any cost!" But not all family members deserve their own seat. Dave recalls that for Chloe, aged 5, her baby toy Annabelle was top priority. "Will she have her own seat, Daddy?" Chloe asked. "I think she will be happier on your lap!" Dave replied.
For those seats you do book, get the best view in the house even if it's the economy class house. "Make sure you book window seats," advises Lorraine Elton, who emigrated to Canada in 2005 with husband Mark and children Megan, 5, and Mathew, 10. "Watching the planes flying past us occupied our children a lot." Besides seat reservations, what you bring to make the seat more comfortable can also ease the journey. "A good pillow is a great idea," says Lorraine. "As everyone will know, getting comfortable on a plane is next to impossible, although saying that Mat slept most of the way and having his pillow certainly helped." Specialised travel pillow or the child's own pillow from 'home' the choice is yours.
Pack it in
Amidst all the packing up of your life to ship it to Canada, don't neglect to involve the children in what is also a packing up of their life, too, or the flight could disintegrate into a 24-hour fight at 30,000 feet. "We gave the children a carry-on suitcase each and let them pick what they wanted to put in it drawing and writing pads, colouring pencils, hand-held games, books, comics, etcetera. But there's only room for them to bring a few things, and this can be hard for children," Lorraine says.
Indeed, Mathew and Megan had to wait for longer than some children for the remainder of their toys to arrive in Canada as it took the Eltons a further four months after emigrating for their house in Portsmouth to sell, during which time Mark was holding the fort back in the UK. Only when the house sold in December were the rest of the Elton's worldly possessions loaded onto a removal lorry.
For those children who are old enough to get involved in their own packing, also consider the type of luggage they are packing their things into - as this could save you from additional physical strain. "We found the best form of luggage for the kids was a pull along trolley type good-sized bag," Dave advises. "Anything that would have to be carries was a no no! The kids were told: whatever you take, you carry!" At least that was a little less for mum and dad to carry: "As usual I had around six main cases," Dave remembers, continuing "Lin had Matthew, pram, very large nappy bag and back-up bag containing the entire contents of a chemist! But not all kids are old enough to understand such simple instructions. "How do you tell a child of 19 months who cannot talk to you or understand the words '24-hour flight' what to pack?" says Dave, sounding exasperated just by the memory of flying with Matthew. "Gameboys, puzzles and, to some degree, books were going to be as good as an ashtray on a motorcycle for him when it came to the flight!"
Mid-air mind games
On top of what to pack or not to pack, there's also the mental preparation to think about. "With our two we talked about where we were going, how we were getting there and what we'd do when we got there," Lorraine says. The Eltons also managed to pick up a quiz about New Brunswick to play on the plane, which helped with the mind games involved in taking children - who, let's face it, aren't renowned for their long attention spans - over a long-haul distance.
But jet lag can be a terrible leveller of best-laid plans, as Mike found out. "When we arrived in LA, to my little girl it was 4.30 in the morning UK time and yet it was early evening there. The result was that as we taxied for some 30 minutes to get to the long runway Gabriella let rip - which provoked a request from the lady next to me that someone take Gabriella for a walk on the wing!" Luckily, it all turned out nicely in the end. "Funny how things happen," Mike laughs: "that lady has now been a firm friend for the last two years!" Leaving is, of course, emotional as well as mental, and before you have chance to make new friends, you'll be leaving old ones. Besides dealing with your own feelings about waving goodbye to mothers, brothers, sisters and fathers, not only will you be taking beloved grandchildren from doting grandparents but from friends, too - and this can add another feeling to the migration mix: guilt. And this isn't the only sense of guilt you might encounter en route. As Dave points out, it's not just the noise your nipper is making in the aircraft, but the looks you get from other passengers on the plane that make the situation so difficult. "I think the worst bit is when everyone is trying to sleep and you're the one with the screaming baby - in Matthew's case due to his ears not popping. How can I put it: You become 'not too popular!' What can you do, though? 'Sorry' is about it, or 'if you can do better, please take over'!"
And you can't always rely on a good cabin crew to lend a helping hand. "The crew were great on our flight out to Canada in August," Lorraine says, "even taking Megan for a tour of the plane to help keep her quiet, but that isn't always the case. When we flew back from our familiarisation trip, the crew were quite distant and not hands on at all, so you have to make preparations just in case". Neither can you rely on in-flight entertainment to help you out as the films might turn out to be more irritating than entertaining. And when children are known to be fussy about what they eat, relying on in-flight catering might also be a mistake. Just don't pack too many of their favourite sweet treats!
But whereas with feelings you often have little control, when it comes to the practical side of things you do have the opportunity to take control of as many aspects as possible.
"Like everything with emigrating it's all about planning," Mike says, adding that any short cuts you're tempted to try should be avoided at all costs. "We knew not to try the 'drug them' approach, having done it before and suffering the side effects which, in the case of the one recommended to us, was a period of hyperactivity!"
Emigration may be a dream, an adult flight of fancy, but practical preparation will win the day - or at least save it from falling apart at the seams during a particular turbulent flight of infancy.
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